Here in Denver we've met so many people who have never seen anything like us, even though we've been spreading our message since 2002 already. We had a most interesting encounter with an Iraq war veteran named Brian.

He just returned from Iraq three weeks ago and he was really drawn to our performance. He felt compelled to tell us some hair-raising battle stories, and volunteered to be our extra special forces security detail for the afternoon.

We saw a big parade on Arapahoe & 16th Street put on by Iraq Veterans Against the War-- the best float was the giant truck with the lovely riot police dressed like teenage mutant ninja turtles. We ran into the ninjas again later just outside the Pepsi Center where Joe Biden was speaking.


We performed for a massive formation of hot muscle men with batons--we were practically sandwiched between them and the gaggle of paparazzi snapping our photos. It was very exciting!




When the big show was over and all the delegates streamed out, we tried to buy their influence but they were hard-core Obama supporters and could not be swayed!

Everyone in Denver is doing a blog, including us of course, and now there are so many bloggers out there with video cameras. Check us out as filmed by the Chicago Sun Times blogger Mark Bieganski at Starbucks on Tuesday.

Yesterday we wowed delegates and passersby outside Samba Room on Larimer & 14th street near the Pepsi Center, where we had a perfect proscenium on the corner. We planned to attend a party for New York Democratic delegates, but something went wrong with our RSVP. Why they didn't want to let us in, we can't imagine, but we didn't really want to hang out with them anyway.

Later we did a gig at the Lida Theater, where a bunch of lefties were hanging out. We tried to inspire them to suppress free speech and hopefully not vote.

We happened upon a techno music rave out on the middle of the sidewalk in front of the Jet Hotel (corporate sponsored of course) and were happy to find some fellow right wingers, although they were disguised as punk rockers. Bubbles told them she loves to blow up the little people that disrespect us, and this couple totally agreed. They called Bubbles their GOP Goddess.


The homeland security were out in full force, thank goodness, and arrested 100 subversives. We were generally loved by the police, as usual.

The Missile Dick Chicks were out in downtown Denver last night meeting and greeting delegates. The delegates were very enthusiastic about their candidate, Barack Obama. We asked them for their help in extending the war as long as possible. One man told me he thought the war would be over in just a couple of months after Obama gets it. I told him that would not make us very much money at all. We also spoke with an Iraq war veteran who believes that war is inevitable and we should just deal with it and get on with our lives. Now that is the perfect attitude for Americans!

Denver, Colorado

The Missile Dick Chicks are in Denver all week for the Democratic National Convention. We are celebrating historic stock prices and a stellar economy we achieved in the last 8 years. In order to keep the profits rolling in from our defense and oil stock holdings, we hope to find Democratic candidates sympathetic to our cause--namely continuing the war in Iraq as long as possible (100 years would be great!). We will be bringing fat wallets in the hopes of tempting pliable politicians to stay away from those anti-war voters. If we should encounter any voters we will urge them to realize that a continuation of current Bush policies will be in their best interest. They should better go shopping rather than worrying about the economy and defense matters.

Any further inquiries should be directed to Dolly Daily Bombings, wife of Ed "Buddy" Bombings, oil trillionaire, info at missiledickchicks.net

Our entry in the Houston Art Car Parade!













Bubbles Bomlovah loves the bomb!






















On stage, accepting our trophy (and we didn't even buy off the judges this time!) Dolly clutches it below.



































A better look at the amazing machine, created by some slackers who have nothing better to do!

More petroleum guzzling statements!

Submitted from the road by Sparkle--May 8, 2008

Thursday was a most auspicious day for The Missile Dick Chicks! We paid a visit to the world headquarters of our #1 war profiteering friends, Halliburton, to present their head, Dave Lesar, with a Golden Richard! We were so happy to be welcomed in their lily white lobby, surrounded by pro-global profit propaganda on the in-house TV screens, we had to sing & dance!

After we entertained, the manly security team and the local sheriff saw that we got safely back to our vehicle.


Friday brought more Golden Richard action – a visit to KBR, whose profits have gone through the roof in the last year. Bill Utt, the head, was out to lunch and not able to accept his award, but we videotaped a special routine with the internal cameras to the delight of all the employees. We are thrilled that sidewalks in Houston are safe, clean, and privately owned by our rich friends!

Submitted from the road by Bubbles Bomlovah-- May 7, 2008

Howdy fans! I know y’all are dying to hear about our World Domination Tour. Candy, Lula, Sparkle , Becky and I, Bubbles arrived in Houston last night, with Video Lady. Dolly and W are still en route with our beautiful “War Machine”.





This morning, we left our host’s home and made our way to Crawford for our Homecoming. And what an exciting trip it was. We stopped in Rosebeck, Texas to get coffee and met some nice little people who were very excited by our patriotism. A patriotic fan gave us a lovely umbrella to protect our missiles from the tornado. Luckily, the tornado waited until we had passed because God loves us . We saw many long horns and woolly cowboys—wheat fields and fresh corn.

We arrived in Crawford just in time to go shoppin’ at the Red Bull souvenir shop where we bought wedding knickknacks, flag o Texas scarves and other commemorative items. W was there and we had our pictures taken with him.
We also talked to our favorite news station- Fox news.


They asked about Jenna and we almost cried, that wild child has grown up.
Our advice for her was that she should just close her eyes and do it for America.
We need more cannon fodder.

Later, we had burgers at Dubya’s favorite general store. They shore make yummy burgers in Crawford. We met a lady who had seen us on youtube and many curious children.

After our brief sojourn, we stopped at that abandoned eyesore, Camp Casey, where the whiners tormented the town and Dubya. My, it was a disgustin mess---discarded peacenik signs and dead troop memorials everywhere. Those silly hippies even grew flowers in the shape of a Mercedes logo. The camp looked like they musta run away in a hurry because obviously they were wrong. How dare they disturb Dubya just because their offspring was killed. Well, we also saw a beautiful t-shirt that said Sin-D Sheehan- where did she come from?
V-Nuts or Uranus.

We then drove to Dubya’s ranch for mint juleps on the porch at sunset! It was wonderful- Laura is such a lovely host even if she is a prude. Becky had to sneak to the bathroom to do a line with Jenna.

Election Year 2008 is going to be a great one!
What does this mean for our nation? The first woman president?
The first black president? Another white guy in the White House?
No, none of those things! It's the
Missile Dick Chicks 2008 World Domination Tour
and we can't do it without y'all's help!
Y'all please watch Sparkle's Appeal on Youtube and send the link to everyone y'all know.

To date, we have raised $4,000 that will take us to our first destination: Houston for the fabulous Art Car Parade on May 10th! This trip also includes a visit to our beloved hometown, Crawford, Texas,
where we will do a special Command Performance for Dubya & The Secret Service!

More destinations on our 2008 Tour: The Democratic & Republican conventions, in Denver & St. Paul, respectively, numerous weekend excursions to rest stops in the Northeast and hopefully a trip to the Swinging State of Ohio!

Projected pricetag? $10,000! (y'all know petroleum is at an all-time high!)
Your donations will fund everything from plane tickets & motel rooms to fishnet stockings & silver spray paint. No amount is too large or too small!

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE contribution on the WEB
(artist name: Sparkle, artist group: Missile Dick Chicks).

or

MAIL a CHECK or MONEY ORDER made out to THE FIELD, earmarked to
The Missile Dick Chicks to:
The Field, 161 Sixth Avenue, New York, NY 10013

We hope to bring you updates of our Houston leg of the tour here, watch this space!