How to become a missile dick chick:

  • You have to believe that exorbitant corporate wealth is good for everybody - with money.
  • If God hadn't intended for us to have power, he wouldn't have given us the money to buy our very own president!
  • You must be forever committed to keeping our CEO in the White House, along with his l'il Commander In Chief (that's Dick 'n' Bush, in case you didn't know!).
  • Daddies are important! Either your real Daddy or your Sugar Daddy needs to be connected to Big Oil, Auto or Wartime Wealth -- who do you think's gonna buy your boob job, not to mention your missile?
  • You must wear your hair Just Right: red, white, or blue, or red-white-AND-blue all together.
  • Our fashion inspirations are Nancy Reagan Red, Barbara Bush Blue, and Lynn Cheney White. Diamonds and Pearls are our favorite jewels!
  • Our political role models are the same as our husbands': Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, and General Custer.
  • Our favorite foods are BBQ. bourbon, and barbituates.
  • If you're at all confused, think Supergirl with a Boob Job and a Strap-On Missile: we believe in Lies, Money, and the American Way.
  • Too Much Is NOT ENOUGH! -- Long Live the Empire!!!

If you want to start your own MISSILE DICK CHICKS, grab 2 or more friends (so you at least have Red White and Blue wigs), and go!

It's easy to learn the lyrics and dance moves to our fabulous signature number "Shop in the Name of War"! Download our video (QuickTime format 29.1Mb) and immediately toss out your Jane Fonda tapes! You can move along with us just like sweatin' to the oldies. The file size is rather large, like our missiles, so you might want a cocktail while you wait.


For more information about the NY Chicks contact Babs at or sparklechick at for information about our very occasional workshop/rehearsals and our exciting future appearances.